Listening for the sounds underneath the every day bustle.
Knowing without knowing there's a communication happening, reaching out and that I matter.
Stopping not knowing for sure if I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Grabbing my handful of sacred leaf and stepping outside to watch the sun and learn.
Stopping to listen, the crow wails six times in a series of six.
Knowing somehow this means I'm supposed to write my first blogpost.
Realizing I've been given directions and not necessarily everything happening at once.
To trust in God and clean house is a recovery saying. I haven't thought it for a while. It just came in.
And I thought I heard a chanting deep in the middle of the void in the blanket of the present rational existence. And I
see the Sun orange and molten-like at the horizon due to smog or fog.
And as I type that I happen to glance up and see the newish moon facing the sun with the slivers like a backward c.
To sleep perchance to dream said Shakespeare.
To rest perchance to heal, said my adrenals.
To box up organized, the photos and journals while scanning and shredding some which aren't needed.
Sometimes you can only know the step right in front of your face.
You have to take that step in some way it is a form of trusting God and cleaning house.
Everything you need will show up during the phases of this "house cleaning"
Literally a house or on different levels a house cleaning... body, mind, spirit... yard, car, purse, book case, closets,
chakras, thoughts, actions.
Yes, humility and courage is required yet here's a thing: sometimes, like right now I am, we are called to
step up and be bigger than we really feel we are. And that can feel almost shaming because we feel
so unworthy to the titles we're taking responsibility for.
But guess what, it might look to others like someone is arrogant but that's not my job or your job--to wonder or
try to control what it looks like to others from our creator studio.
You will be called to step forward in much bigger shoes than you feel you are ready for.
And to step up with the faith and commitment to meet every challenge and bump in the road as it comes. With faith that you are not alone and something bigger, in fact possibly many benign forces are indeed with you
and will never leave you to face your path alone.
At times you will have to turn inside and it will feel like it's just you.
But that's the time to be still until you hear the drums and chanting of the Native American tribes,
Keepers of something you feel completely ignorant of on the surface.
But if you have that faith, and realize you are being called and there's nothing you can really do about the entire world's past; you can only have respect and integrity in this moment... and knowing you are inadequate
but that you are what the Universe has decided to use for Love.
Then creating an institute, a meeting or a school is nothing to be ashamed of.
You might sit and a tear may roll down because you feel so self-conscious.
Do it anyway.
You can do it gently, you can still do it big.
You can open the floodgates and know it's not really not about you.
And the one's that can't walk that with you?
Don't judge them and think they are falling. Think about how bright their soul wants to shine somewhere else,
just not here with you.
I won't doubt myself or them if our paths are not meant to be traveled together.
I simply tend to the gardens I am in.
I noticed today that the garden I've been so despondent about is full of wild food.
At first glance I thought the Universe was telling me I'll never thrive here because the squash don't have enough sunlight, the deer will get all my lettuce etc...
Things are not always as they appear.
It really is happening FOR you not TO you...
and I know I don't really know how to harvest these wild plants so I will watch Katrina Blair again tonight...
And buy that copy of Markus Rothkranz book on edible plants that I've been meaning to buy.
Some may call them "noxious" weeds but I'm not convinced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the blackberries are loaded up too.
So now the sun has gone all the way down. There's a stillness momentarily though cars go by and a distant plane... voices echo from the nearby park. The critter who had been chewing on something in the compost pit seems to have taken a rest.
My butt hurts from sitting on the back concrete step.
So I'll shift and get up and make a cup of tea.
I wanted help from the Universe. I wanted to know I asked and asked what do I need to know.
Am I doing the right game plan.
Do I offer food to people here and now?
Do I wait for some perfect time and place?
What if I start this and decide to move. Well, they will have gotten a good start on life eating raw food and maybe
changed forever to healthier eating with ease for the short time you were here then.
Someone I hold wise and dear had said not to offer something if I will move and take it away.
But I'm also advised to keep my own counsel at times. Always weigh that with your inner voice.
And I told my Higher Power in tears that all I can do is be in the present. And I want you to show me as I take that first step. I will trust that everything I need and everything I'm supposed to help anyone else with, will be clear
and will unfold as I simply Trust in God and Clean House.